When life gives you lemons

Sometimes life gives you lemons but thank goodness lemonade tastes so dang good because it’s a lot easier to get through life’s lemons. Right now I feel like my lemon in life is my panic disorder and my inability to show myself self-compassion in regards to my recovery. This last Friday I started a new therapy class and I had a panic attack before the class even though I had done all the things my counselor had taught me. I felt like I was right back to where I started and that no matter what I did I would never be able to live my life without having my panic disorder be my main focus. Thinking this way does not help at all and only makes me feel awful and continues the negative cycle.

 Instead of continuing to beat myself up about having a panic attack before my class I wiped away my tears and marched into my class. I felt anxious and sweaty the entire time but once it was over I was so glad that I had pushed myself to go to the class. One thing I am learning through this whole process is that going to therapy is not easy and most times I feel awful afterwards. But I know that all those uncomfortable moments are helping me to be able to manage my panic disorder instead of letting it control me. I think the less I try to control situations or avoid things that trigger my  panic attacks the stronger I am at being able to manage my panic disorder.

On Friday when I go to my class there is a good chance that I will have another panic attack before but this time I am going to show myself some compassion because I know that it doesn't mean I'm not trying or that I will never be able to manage my panic disorder.