One ticket to the hot mess express

Confession time: I’m a messy person. I have always been this way, where I go I leave a mess behind me. As a kid I remember messing my room up and then coming home one day after school and it was all magically cleaned up. Unfortunately this has caused me to have lived most of my adult life waiting for other people to clean up my messes. Horrible, I know.

Needless to say but my messiness hasn’t been a positive thing in my life and has caused many problems for me and for the people in my life. I also began to notice that my anxiety and panic disorder was triggered when my room was disorganized. I have always wanted to be more organized and less messy but I was stuck in the frame of mind that I couldn’t change a behavior I’d been doing since I was a kid. It made me feel awful that my bad habit was also causing me more anxiety and panic attacks.

But this last year has been all about challenging my perspective on things and just like I decided to stop breaking my promise to write on my blog I also made a promise to myself to really try and be more organized. I started doing small things in my room like putting my clothes away instead of just living out of a laundry basket or putting all my shoes away in my closet. It may seem silly but just trying to do these things have helped so much.

now I will admit this is something I still struggle with daily but every day instead of giving into my bad habit I challenge it by doing little things like hanging up all the clothes I tried on and didn’t wear or putting away my art supplies. These small acts add up and also encourage me to continue trying every day.

This morning I woke up and I cleaned my room up a little and just that small act made me so proud of myself. A year ago I couldn’t get out of my head enough to challenge my perspective to even try to change so the fact that I’ve made small strides in this area is a win for me. And eventually one day I won’t always ride the hot mess express.