But Everyone Else Does it....

Gossip. We have all been guilty of participating in it at one point in life. But have you ever really thought about how gossip can influence your daily life? Something that I noticed about myself was that when I actively participated in gossiping with friends or coworkers it left me feeling bad about myself and always wondering what people were saying about me behind my back. Once I noticed this about myself I  tried really hard not to participate in the gossip at work and also stopped hanging out with friends that I noticed that is all we did when we would hang out together. This sounds pretty easy but it was actually really hard and left me feeling isolated at times because not participating in the gossip made me realize I was missing out on the social aspect of gossip. On one hand I didn't want to participate in the gossip but I did want the social connections and interactions that I got from being a part of the conversation. I had to make the hard decision that being true to myself was more important than trying to fit in just so I wouldn't be lonely.

When I stopped participating in the gossip that was going on around me in my daily life I noticed that my relationships in my life started to change too. I had a group of friends that I started to notice that anytime we were together we would talk about who ever wasn't with us at the time.  It started to feel like junior high all over again. I knew that I needed to stop gossiping with them and whenever the conversation turned towards gossip I did not participate. It was hard because it made me face the realization that if I wasn't around they were talking about me too. Unfortunately it allowed me to see some of my friendships with a clearer eye and  forced me to evaluate whether it was good for me to continue them.

Making the decision to not participate in gossip allowed me to  understand more about myself and what type of friend I want to be in my future friendships.  I want to by the type of friend that my friends know I would not gossip behind their back or ever make them question if I would. It also made me face some harsh realities about my friends and helped me to finally let go of  friendships that I had been hanging onto because I was scared to be lonely.  Now I am not saying I am perfect and never give into the gossip but  once I realized that gossip was negatively  effecting my life I knew I needed to make steps to try and change.  Each day I try not to let myself get caught up in the gossip around me and instead I try and focus on myself and the steps I need to make to continue to be the best person I can be.